A few months ago, your other half proposed to you. Then, there was the choice of rings, outfits, venue, caterer, photographer… In short, wedding planning was going well. Until… The coronavirus pandemic arrived, changing everything in its path. What should you do? How to plan your wedding in this unprecedented situation? Come on, take a deep breath! I’ll try my best to help you see a bit more clearly.
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Should we postpone or cancel our wedding day? We’re not sure, what do you think?
Cancelling your wedding day? You can’t be serious! A (effing) virus can’t jeopardise your union, can it? Your love is not canceled. Compassion is not canceled. Our couple/vendor relationship is not canceled. On the contrary, I see this situation as an obstacle that we can overcome, that is if we all work together. We are a team, and we want the same thing: celebrating your love. Now or later.
Obviously, I can’t imagine how huge the disappointment must be for you, especially when you consider the time it takes to plan a wedding, whether you were planning a huge party or something more intimate. Just imagining the thought of changing your plans must be difficult so I’m truly sorry that you have to face this kind of situation.
But think about it: after overcoming all these trials, bringing your family and friends together to celebrate your wedding day will be even more unforgettable. It may be different from what you originally had in mind, but, in the end, what is the most important thing in a wedding day? It is you two. It is your connection. It is the commitment you make to one another. It is this love, your love that we will celebrate with your dearest loved ones. In one way or another. Different or not. You will get married anyway! And your wedding day will be all the more emotional.
The best advice I can give you – and I’m certainly not the only one! – is to postpone your wedding day.
Ok, let’s postpone our wedding. But when?
Why not favoring a weekday at the end of summer (and respecting health precautions of course), or choosing to have your wedding in fall or winter? This would save you from dragging preparations for another 1 year, and it would increase your chances of your entire initial vendor team being available to support you (or at least the majority of them)!
It is up to you and, it also depends on how the situation evolves in the upcoming week. We are all treading carefully. While writing these words, we are still on lockdown until May 11th, but that does not mean that on the 12th, life will resume its normal course. We will have to give time to time. We are going through an unprecedented period, be patient, deal with these new variables, and above all allow yourself some flexibility.
One thing is sure: your vendors will understand, we are all living the same thing, and there is a solution to EVERYTHING!
April 28th, 2020 edit – Suite aux dernières annonces, le gouvernement recommande aux mairies de continuer à limiter la célébration des mariages sauf dérogations et urgences (maladie, déploiement…), de ne pas organiser de célébrations dans les lieux de cultes et de limiter les rassemblements à 10 personnes maximum. Et ce, jusqu’au 2 juin 2020. Following the latest announcements, the French government recommends that city halls continue to limit the celebration of weddings except for emergencies (illness, military, etc.), celebrationsare not permitted in worship places and to limit gatherings to a maximum of 10 people. And this until June 2nd, 2020.
And now, what’s the plan?
Contact your vendors as soon as possible: wedding planner, venue manager, caterer, photographer, musicians/DJ, florist, and so on.
They will give you details on their postponement policy, the next dates available in their agenda, and they will help you find the best solutions to your situation. If you are flexible, everything should be fine!
Oh, and don’t forget to let your guests know of your new wedding date by sending them an e-mail (and for granny, let’s pick up the phone). Many creative email templates are popping up on the web right now to inspire you and to make this Unsave the date more personal and more YOU. You can also get in touch with your wedding invitation vendor to create one in the same style as the original one!
COVID-19 : is it a case of force majeure?
I am not a law specialist, to each his own profession… but, according to the French Civil Code: “There is force majeure in contractual matters when an event beyond the control of the debtor, which could not have been reasonably foreseen at the time of the conclusion of the contract and whose effects cannot be avoided by appropriate measures, prevents the performance of its obligation by the debtor. If the impediment is temporary, the performance of the obligation is suspended unless the resulting delay justifies termination of the contract. If the impediment is final, the contract is automatically terminated and the parties are released from their obligations under the conditions provided for in articles 1351 and 1351-1.”
Wait… What? Well, in other terms, force majeure is a concept that defines an event that is unforeseen, insurmountable AND beyond the control of one of the two parties. Okay, does that mean that the COVID-19 epidemic is a force majeure?
Not so sure! COVID-19 itself does not justify a case of force majeure. The 3 conditions must be met and proven for this to be assessed as a case of force majeure. Each marriage and each situation is unique, thus, the recognition of the force majeure is carried out on a case by case basis. If you do not agree with your vendor on the assessment or not of a case of force majeure, it will then be up to the judge to assess the situation. But it would be a shame to reach this point, wouldn’t it? Your providers, you chose them, you had a crush on them, and they had one on you too, you dreamed of your beautiful day with them, they supported you until then… And they want to continue the adventure with you! So let’s all try our best to resolve this amicably, to show empathy and to find a middle ground.
If the case of force majeure is retained for your situation, the law then requires to distinguish between two situations: the impediment is either temporary or permanent. In the case of a wedding, it can be agreed that the event can be postpone to another date, the execution of the contract will then be suspended. This is also why I recommend you to contact your vendors to find out their availability. You could even create a Doodle to make it easier? It could be a great idea! Be aware that if you impose a new date on your vendors, without consulting their availabilities before or without taking them into account, they may be able to keep their deposit. In any case, it is in everyone’s best interest to collaborate!
What is certain is that it is a truly exceptional situation and that we are all going through it together. We all experience the same uncertainty of the future, and we all suffer from financial losses due to COVID-19, couples AND vendors. We understand and share your concerns because we have them too. I am sure that, just like me, your vendors are eager to celebrate your union and to guide you throughout your day! We are in this together, as a team. So, it is in our best interest to work together and to find a solution that benefits us all, with mutual caring and kindness, because your wedding day matters to me, your wedding day matters to US ALL.
To go further, I recommend you to read this very well-written resource (in French), but I would like to point out that each contractual situation will be interpreted differently by each lawyer / judge.
I still want to get married this summer, what are my alternatives?
If you decide to maintain your ceremony date for the time being, stay up to date with the latest information from the Government and contact your town hall and venue for their guidelines on wedding celebrations. You can also follow the information in real time on your prefecture’s website and check the current valid decree.
On your end, try to be flexible and see what can be adjusted. If gatherings of more than X people are prohibited after lockdown is lifted, do not panic! Why not splitting your guest list in two? You could celebrate the more traditional side first with your closest family, and party another day with your friends? Barbecue, bonfire, food trucks, outdoor cinema, pool party, paintball in your wedding dress… There are lots of options! Two wedding days = twice more fun and love!
Another option: elope! What is that? An elopement consists in choosing to have an intimate, meaningful and authentic wedding experience that is fully focused on who you are as a person, and as a couple, so that you can fully live the happiest day of your married life… without the artifices of a big traditional wedding. In an elopement, the guest list comes down to the people that are closest to you (we are talking about 5, 10, 20 guests at most). The only variable to think about: choosing the epic place where you would like to get married. It can be at the top of a mountain, on cliffs overlooking the ocean, in the creeks of Provence… Everything is possible! There are no rules, apart from saying yes! Love is an adventure, so why not make your wedding day an adventure too?
As for me, I will be there to capture all the magical moments filled with intimacy, vulnerability and intense emotions.
My mission is not only to take the most beautiful photos (well that too!), I am not only one more vendor in your day, I am part of your team, I guide you, I support you, I give you inspirations. In short, I am there by your side, from the beginning to the end of your adventure… even the craziest!
Did I awaken your curiosity? Do not hesitate to contact me, it would be my pleasure to answer all your questions on the subject!
This extended break will have taught us that everything can change, everything can be turned into something different in a very short time. So let’s keep our spirits up and try to spread positive energy around us in this very special phase that we are going through. Couples, let’s wager that this experience will bring you closer together and make you even more euphoric to the idea of going through everything that life will put in your way, the best as the worst!
Take good care of yourself, of one another, and see you soon for your beautiful wedding day!